High school football fans say.... WE SUCK!

It is the first football game of the season and the stands are filled with High School Football fanatics! They are cheering on their kids, their friends, their Alma Mater... GO DARBY GO! GO DARBY GO! ... The clock is stopped at 30 seconds with the score tied at 14 apiece, its fourth down and inches for Darby on the defenses 20-yard line... This is what football is all about! The teams break from their huddles and meet at the line muttering inaudible profanities and threats of 'taking you down' to the opposition.


Meanwhile... in the stands, a Hilliard-Darby student was showing his school spirit by passing out colored pieces of paper announcing to all that it read 'GO DARBY!' and should be held above their heads as they cheered!

The quarterback on the field is completely concentrated on the tail end of his center before calling out the play followed by the meanest sounding hike his puberty cracking vocal chords could muster. He grabs the cool leather and finds the laces while looking back and forth on his line, no opening... gotta throw. He finds a receiver running down the home side of the field and chooses his target. He is about to launch the ball for a touchdown and the nearly guaranteed win, when he sees the crowd lift brightly color signs above their heads and start cheering him on.

'... what's that say? ... WE SUCK! ... huh?...'

And no sooner than a cat passes gas after eating corn... he was pummeled to the ground by a 300 pound freight train with cleats senior, letting the football fall loose where then the opposing team picks it up and runs for an 80 yard touchdown, sealing their victory!

An interesting story, eh? I found this story on NPR today. Basically... the only truth in the story I told you was that a high school student went around handing out colored pieces of paper telling them it read 'GO DARBY!' when in all actuality it read 'WE SUCK!' Haha... you have to admit... that is pretty funny. On the downside for the kid, he barely made it into the school year without being suspended. But as the NPR commentator points out, at least now he has plenty of time to bask in full heat of his YouTube glory!

This story caught my attention because it is a high school in Ohio, up near Columbus. In fact, I actually think one of my roommates went to this high school. I'll have to forward the story to him; he might get a kick out of it.

The question that comes to my mind though, is... didn't people look at the signs before they started holding them up? Rarely does anyone hand me anything and I just start using it without first giving it a once over. Maybe the football attendants to the Hilliard-Darby football games should share a little bit of the blame.

Why of course I’ll use your blowtorch that has a giant ‘DO NOT USE’ sticker on it… Who cares if the flame appears to be going back into its own fuel tank?

I also think that being suspended is a little harsh. Yes it was extremely anti-school spirit... but really, getting suspended by handing out paper? That's pretty crazy if you ask me.


I wonder what would happen if I went to a University of Cincinnati football game and handed out pieces of paper and told people to cheer with them raised high above their heads... but on the pieces of paper I told them read 'GO UC!' it actually read 'I LOVE MY MOM!'? You think I'd make ESPN Sports Center? I don't know… I'll have to ponder this and figure out a good plan of action.

I'm out... Have a great long weekend!

A bit about car alarms...

When was the last time that you were walking through a parking lot and somewhere off in the distance heard a car alarm go off and immediately whipped out your cell phone to dial 9-1-1 while thinking... Oh no! Somebody's car is being broken into! I must notify the authorities!

That just plain doesn't happen.

I have thought about this often and was hit hard on the point this morning when I woke up to someone’s car alarm going off outside my house. I don't live in the nicest of neighborhoods down at school, so there is a pretty good chance that the car alarm was going off for legit reasons... however... probably not. As I laid in bed this morning listening to the awful BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.... (get the point?) my thoughts weren't of concern for the owner of the car. I wasn't even concerned that a criminal could be mulling around our street and MY car... my only thoughts were, would somebody PLEASE turn that stupid car alarm off!

If you really think about it, the car alarm is a great invention. I am sure it does its job. If I were to steal a car and I set its alarm off in the process, I would most definitely move onto a different car. The alarm may not send people running to call the police, but it does at least draw attention to a possibly violated car. So in the end... I guess I have to admit it gets the job done... however, in a very annoying fashion.

Let me now voice my opinion on car alarms and fireworks. Every year, I go back home to Mason for the 3rd of July Fireworks. We set up blankets and chairs and watch the display of all imaginable colors (except blue... did you know there is no such thing as a blue firework?). And every year there are the multitudes of upper-middle class, rich cars, all fully loaded with their car alarms that start blaring with the first louder than the rest firework. So after that, we watch the fireworks, glorious as they are to not the medley of cicadas and crickets... but to the toots of Beemers and Escalades. Kind of kills the atmosphere if you ask me. Please people; just turn your car alarm off when you go to fireworks... the world appreciates it.

Before you ask I will answer; no, my car does not have a car alarm. I drive a 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier; the look of the car is a valiant car alarm in itself. Cheers to all those people who while sitting around the dinner table and all of a sudden hearing their car alarm go off, just click the button without going to check on it. Cheers to those folks at the fireworks with car alarms so sensitive a butterfly flapping its wings in China will soon set it off. And cheers to those who have cars with car alarms and set them off just to find them in a busy parking lot. Because of you... (with a bottle of Aspirin) I write this post.

Stolen Goods - $6298

Over the past week I received two emails from Paypal telling me that my request to withdrawal money was approved and there was going to be a transfer to my bank account. Great I thought, if I have a balance for a certain number of days, it will automatically be put into my checking account... no hassle, right?

I check my Paypal account yesterday and see that I received two payments for $3,200! Both of them were immediately transferred out to the bank account... however... checking my bank accounts, there was a Bank of America account that somehow mysteriously appeared. I only work with Fifth-Third… Weird....

So I called Paypal to report the activity. The first time I talked to someone, they weren't very helpful, but after calling back, I got the answers I needed.

Apparently, someone hacked my Paypal account and was sending money to it from stolen credit cards and then withdrawing it to their account (or something like that). That way the credit card companies wouldn't be able to trace where the payments were ending up.

Paypal said they would reverse the charges within 10 days. At the time of the phone call I had 30 dollars in my Paypal account, $26 of it, which was, actually mine.

Last night out of curiosity, I check my account again and see that I now have a balance of $6,298 and some change... HOLY COW! So they reversed the transaction from the bank account back to my Paypal account. Now I just have a whole lot of money sitting in my Paypal account...

... are you thinking what I'm thinking? ...

What would happen if tried to withdrawal all this money to my checking account? Is that grounds of jail time? Haha... I didn't steal the money, it just happened into my hands. These people with the credit cards didn't have to pay the balance since their card was stolen and such... What do you think?

Haha... I wonder what would happen. Can I claim ignorance and say I didn't think that'd be wrong, or that since the money was in my account, isn't it technically mine?

If I were to steal credit cards and go through this scam/fraud, I would do things a little differently... I would deposit the $3,500 into someone's Paypal account just as they did to my account. But then, here is the key... when this person withdrew the $3,500 I would have only withdrawn $2,900. Why not leave $600 in the Paypal account. That isn't too much of the larger sum, and maybe the person with the Paypal account would keep their eyes looking the other direction if they are mysteriously getting all this cash. Eventually Paypal would catch on... but by then I would have already transferred more than enough money through that account, and just move on to the next one... Genius!

Someday, if my conscience ever decides to pack up and leave... maybe I'll give it a shot. Until then... I guess I'll keep my cursor away from the withdrawal button.

One more thought though... if I go a month and that money is still in my Paypal account... it is definitely past the 10 days Paypal said they would need... so is the money mine? Haha... let's cross fingers, wait and see. Maybe this will turn from feeling completely violated to being in the right place at the right time.

Later!

I have the urge....

Do you ever just really get in the mood to do something? Maybe you wake up one morning and you think to yourself, you know? I am really in the mood to go for a jog. Or one evening you are sitting around with friends watching TV or something and you get the urge... you know? I am really in the mood to go bowling. Well lately, I've been in the mood... yes, I have been in the mood to write.

Exciting! I know ;-)

I really enjoy writing in this blog day to day. Ever since this blog started, I have grown to feel more comfortable in my voice as a writer. I am starting to learn what works for me, what I need to put a little more effort in to. It really helps when I get feedback on posts. Occasionally I'll write a post that friends will stumble upon through facebook.com (where all my posts are imported to) and I will get a great reaction. My parents and siblings will also comment on the occasional post when I am home for dinner or the weekend. It seems to me that people enjoy the dry sense of humor that is very opinionated.

Back in the days of Xanga, all my friends and I would write about what we did for the weekend and what was going on in our lives and such. We would then hang out with one another start to say, "Did you hear about....?" And then everyone's response was always, "oh yeah, I read that on Xanga." It was humorous at the time but sort of depressing. Nowadays I try and relate my posts to my personal life, not center on my personal life.

But anyway... as usual, I am getting off topic...

So I have been in the mood to write. I have always been a big fan of short stories. My friend Joe and I took a short story writing class a few quarters ago that was such a blast. I haven't really written any stories since then though. My brain has been brewing and fingers itching for the next great tale! A few ideas have come to mind, but nothing that really grabs me. My best bet is probably to just start writing about an iffy topic and see where it takes me.

I'm sure I've linked here before, but I do have a writing blog located at http://hushed-allegory.blogspot.com that you are more than welcome to check out and comment on if you like. There isn't much there, but I do like the pieces that are there.

That's about all I have for today. My technical personality is going to the wayside and my artsy personality is trying to break through. I hope it does!

Later!

I killed a tree...

One of my weekly tasks here at work is to compile the support recap documents for our 1pm meeting every Monday. These reports are usually 7ish pages long, so I print them 2-sided. Save the trees!

Let me tell you a little more about this particular meeting and report. This report is a pain to compile because it is pulling together everyone's support calls for the past week. This of course wouldn't be too difficult if people knew how to put their calls into the call tracker correctly... but they don't. When I first started doing the report, I decided I was going to send out reminder emails of things that people were doing wrong when putting into the call tracker. Soon enough though, I was getting a bad reputation as the intern with a stick up somewhere and being too much a stickler beyond my job responsibilities. I didn't want this reputation, so I let it go, letting people enter data on their own. What's it to me? I have nothing better to do than spend my Monday mornings fixing all their mistakes. But if I somehow by chance miss a mistake... well that's it... when they get the reports at the meeting and scrutinize them to the point of many complaining that the papers are not stapled together to their liking... I am usually about two toots short of a blown gasket!

So you know how I feel about these reports right? I don't mind them, I don't like them by any stretch of the imagination, but I hate how people won't respect my effort.

Today I finished making the report and started to print. I soon realized that I had forgotten to print it with the 2-sided printing option enabled. Quickly I run through my options...

1.) I let the print job continue and bring the reports to the meeting as they are
2.) I cancel the print job and reprint making sure I am printing 2-sided

If I choose option (1) I am saving the most paper... but when I get to the meeting I have to listen to every single person comment about how much a waste of paper it is to print single-sided, and then people to poke fun of me after the meeting... and blah blah blah blah blah....
If I choose option (2) sure I am using a bit more paper... but when I get to the meeting, no one knows!

I am a big supporter of our environment and if I see someone litter I will go out of my way to either let them know they littered or pick it up myself... but I'll be honest, I choose option 2

They have paper recycle bins by the copier, but I don't really know how much they really recycle that, so I decide to use it to my own benefit... I staple the packet of papers together and now use them as notepads!

I think I win... haha... I always do ;-)

A new look... again

I don't really have much to say today. I just wanted to comment on the new look of the blog. I wasn't very smart and hosted my lass CSS off of some random website, then they decided they didn't want to host that file any longer. You might have noticed over the past few days this blog looking a little... ill?

So I found this new layout. I like it, its fine, very non-controversial... the way I like it.

Have a good weekend!

A Lego sort of day!

I'm not sure what makes today so special, but I have this intense hankering to build Legos!

You all know what Legos are, those little blocks that you piece together to build amazing creations and have hours (if not days) of entertainment on one project. Have you ever been to Lego Land in California? My family and I went there a number of years ago, and it was great. They have Lego people blown up to life size and Lego cars you can race around in. They also had the Lego Mindstorms building where we had a competition of some sort. I think it had to do with moving a ball or something somewhere. It was good fun.

In addition to all the fun things to do, they have amazing Lego creations to look at everywhere. I think they have people on staff who's entire job description is to build legos into monstrous and spectacular sights. What a job that would be. You would never have to search through a bottomless been for just the right Lego!

I once spent a week organizing every single one of our thousands of Legos when I was growing up. I don't remember why I did it. I might have been grounded and that was the best way I could find to pass the time, or maybe I just did it on my own... I really don't remember. I'm pretty sure all the Legos are still (for the most part) separated. But today... for some reason, I want to build something.

What's the coolest thing you ever built out of Legos? Was it a set or something of your own creation?

Best naps... EVER

So I am a big fan of naps. Lately when I get home from work in the afternoon, after the 30 minute commute in the hot car with no air conditioning and a driver side window that doesn't roll down, I have been a bit sleepy. I won't lie, if I by chance don't have my sunglasses that day, sometimes my eyes just want to squint a little more than they should... But I have been getting home, going up to my room, checking my messages on the computer and saying hello to the pigs, then taking a nap.

Now this isn't any normal nap. This nap usually only lasts 10 to 15 minutes. How long is a power nap usually? Aren't they like 30 to 40 minutes? Am I taking a super-Power nap? But those 10 minutes of shut-eye are lifesavers. If I don't take that nap, my body starts shutting down at like 7pm... no good. And it isn't like I haven't been getting enough sleep at night either. Lately I've been in bed and asleep before midnight only to get up out of bed at the ripe hour of 7am.

I was sitting around thinking about my nap today and talking to a friend about it, when we started to discuss the best places to nap. The conclusion I came to that napping in bed is great and all... but its not really a real nap. I would define a short sleeping period in a bed as a snooze... not a nap.

So as for location, I love the recliner at my parent's house. However, if there is a couch with lots of pillows on it... I might just have to choose to fully spread out there. I love to take naps when other people are around too. If we're just watching TV or something, I'll lay down and rest my eyes... next thing I know, its dark out! Having other people around (as long as they aren't being obnoxiously loud) is usually always a plus to good napping.

I wonder if there is a book out there on good napping techniques?... I bet there is, there is a book for everything!

So what about you? Where and when is your favorite place to nap? Anything exciting???

A bit about umbrellas...

Today it was raining when I came into work. It is really rather dreary outside! The problem is, that I am not built for umbrellas. You see, I am tall and skinny, and with big feet. The only one of those three attributes that works to my benefit is the skinny part. My little umbrella does a fantastic job... I applaud its efforts, but I am a little worried that its quota of raindrops stopped from hitting me is suffering a little more than should be.

Because I am tall, there is not a short distance between the umbrella and my feet. If there is any wind, I might as well not have any umbrella at all. The rain drops will come in at an angle, and I will do my best to get my umbrella perfectly into the wind in order to catch all the drops, but to no avail, my umbrella fails me. By the time I walk to wherever my feet are taking me, my pants are wet, at least from the knee down. Wet pants are no fun, ask any one-year-old.

Because of my big feet, I can't for the life of me keep them dry. There will be a gentle mist coming down from the sky, more beautiful than weatherly, but by the time I walk into the building of choice... my socks are wet. There is no stopping it, really! Whether I am kicking up puddles or getting hit by stray raindrops that missed the umbrella, there's no matter, my socks are wet. No one likes wet socks, as any boy scout.

Another note on my feet (slightly on the side)...
Every day when I go into work, I trip on my feet. Regardless of when I get to work, I park in the far lot so that I have to cross a little bridge over a creak to get into the building. Call me crazy, but I like walking past the creek every day (even if it means a few extra steps). Unfortunately, I sit on the complete opposite side of the enormously long building. While walking down the hallway (which I can only describe as an airport terminal) I almost always trip over my feet. Fortunately for me they are usually just little trips and I catch myself after only a stumble. But believe me, there have been some close calls to wipeouts. The problem is I just don't lift my toes high enough. Left food forward... push it back... bring it forward... ooops... there's the trip. Either foot, it doesn't matter. Occasionally I'll make the long walk to the cube without any worries and no trips. But then it scares me even more... cause I know for sure, with the laws of nature, that I am going to trip at least once that day. I would much rather it be in the morning while walking in, than after pouring a nice hot cup of coffee... or after picking up a million papers from the printer. You know what I'm saying? It is scary!

So back to umbrellas...
Them and I just don't get along. One option I guess is to buy a bigger umbrella... it would help keep me dry. But I really don't want to be one of those people that have those super big umbrella's just for themselves. When walking down the sidewalk I don't want other people to feel like they have to move out into the street to avoiding smacking umbrellas with me.

With great umbrella comes great responsibility...

Umbrellas are definitely a must in many situations... but I really think there might be something different. I should make it my life goal to ponder the next umbrella... something that will keep all people dry, whether tall, skinny, fat, short, awkwardly shaped, big feet... regardless... MY UMBRELLA WILL NOT JUDGE!

That is all...
- Jason

My Life is Office Space

My life really is 'Office Space'. Sure I may not be laundering money from corporate or anything, but the atmosphere is the same. That is really the genius for films like 'Office Space' and the television series 'The Office' (which I do have a Schrute Buck hanging in my cube)... they are true to real life!

On my way back from grabbing my lunch from the break room, I am briskly moving down a long hallway. Down at the other end of the hallway, I see a guy... and he is wearing the same shirt as me. I'm not wearing anything extravagant... but its not the normal office shirt. It is a short-sleeved rugby shirt with thick, horizontal, blue and white stripes. I saw the guy and he saw me... we both knew we were wearing the same shirt... but no one wanted to say anything. I kinda looked down to the ground and chuckled to myself as we walked past.

This morning I got an email reminding me it is the beginning of a new period and time to do the TPS reports... luckily I just hand them out and don't have to put any new cover sheets on them.

I got another email this morning from our secretary... I mean... administrative assistant... telling me that I am not clocking out for lunch correctly. Hah... of course I'm not, I don't clock out for lunch. I usually take lunch at my desk and work straight through lunch. It sure beats going to the lunchroom and sitting by myself. Apparently federal law requires that I take a 30-minute lunch break if I work over 6 hours... bologna I say!

Every now and then, I go to print something (yes... on actual paper!) and when going up to printer BN113... I see a little red light flashing. It makes my stomach sink. I cross my fingers and just hope that it is out of paper... but then... to my demise, those two little words that bring so much pain to the office... 'PAPER JAM'! It is those days I just go back to my desk and let someone else deal with it. I'll get my printouts someday...

Two Friday's ago, a different secretary... ahem, administrative assistant came by my cube late on a Friday afternoon with a handful of paycheck stubs. "Someone hasn't been picking up their paycheck stubs...." I look at her, I look at the stack...
Me: Oh, sorry
Her: Have you been getting the emails I send out
Me: Yes, I get the emails, I just forgot to pick it up
Her: Do you know where I sit?
Me: Yes, just over there (and I point)
Her: All right, well I hope you are getting the emails so you can start picking these up
Me: Thanks for dropping them off

And of course there are the office personalities that are just that... so typical

We have the guy who thinks he's the greatest and loves to distribute work (because it makes him feel important) I once got an email from him asking if I could post a document to the web. I followed his directions exactly only to find out that the person who normally posted to the web did it their own way (which was the way everyone who accessed the document knew) So basically, the guy got mad at me for posting it wrong... but by following his directions... hah

We have the nice girl who knows everything technical that is going on. She is very smart, very sweet, and very patient. Everyone goes to her when they have questions... I am amazed that she is able to do any of her own work with so many interruptions.

We have the boss that wants to be buddies with everyone. Mostly she does a good job with it, checking in on everyone from time to time, just to see how things are. But she does have her clique and a following within the group. Sometimes I walk past her cube around lunchtime and they are all crowded around her desk laughing about some story and munching on sandwiches.

Yes... basically I work at 'The Office'... but I am sure most offices are just like this one. Lunch break is almost over though... my half hour almost up... time to staple 20 Support Recaps together before my one-o'clock meeting so people can read through it and criticize everything they don't like about the format. If only they followed the directions on my email... the reports would look a little better... grr... but that's a story for another time.

Later!

FlyingPage.com Ebay Auction

Hey all... we've had a slow start to FlyingPage.com

We would really like to get the word out and we think the best method is go get some initial advertisers. To do this, we might have to cut a deal with some folks. For those that are interested I would like to advertise a (probably) cheaper way to get a one year advertising campaign on FlyingPage.com

Check out our ebay auction!

Spread the word, now's the chance to get the banners while they're cheap!

Thanks!!!!

Rubber Duck Regatta - Ernie's day out!

Are you from Cincinnati? Have you ever heard of the Rubber Duck Regatta? I hadn't until this year. While driving up I-71 North a few nights ago I look up at one of the office buildings on the west side of the highway and notice something different. I see the largest, yellow, inflatable duck EVER! This duck is the ultimate ducky... I am scared to think what our orange friend Ernie would do if he ever laid eyes on this duck.

You remember Ernie, right? He’s the little orange guy from the shorts of 'Bert & Ernie' from Sesame Street? Of course you do. Ernie is the one who sang 'Rubber ducky, you're the one... you make bath times so much fun!...' Everyone knows and loves the song.

Anyway... I saw the big duck on top of an office building, and also received a number of emails at work about purchasing ducks. So my roommate, Sean, and I decided to go ahead and purchase some.

Before I get too much further I guess I should probably explain what the Rubber Duck Regatta is, to those unfortunate enough to be out of the Cincinnati area this time of year. The Rubber Duck Regatta is a fundraiser for the Free store Food bank. 100% of the money raised from the Rubber Duck Regatta goes to feeding the hungry. The ducks cost one for $5, or six for $25 (Sean and I now have six lucky ducks!). On Sunday, September 2nd at 2pm, all the ducks will be released over the side of the Purple People Bridge for the race of their lives. The first duck to cross the finish line gets a brand new, 2007 Honda Civic! I think the next 4 or 5 ducks to cross each get $1,000. Not too bad... unfortunately for my chances (but fortunately for the free store food bank) there are thousands of ducks that will race.

There is also one National City Million Dollar Duck that will race. I think the duck is randomly selected for a random person that has a duck. And if that person is one lucky duck (yes, they have beat that pun into the ground)... they get $1,000,000. But don't get your hopes up, first you have to be lucky enough to be selected... then you have to be lucky enough to win... yes, I know, I'm not holding my breath.

Overall this seems like it will be a fun and entertaining way to help some people out. I enjoy running races that give proceeds to charities, but this is something different that will be fun as well.

If you are interested, I am sure they won't limit your participation to living in the Cincinnati area, you can order online, or by phone I believe... here's some info below.

http://www.rubberduckregatta.org
Phone: 513.929.DUCK (3825)
http://www.freestorefoodbank.org

Have a good weekend! I'll be out on the lake tomorrow with my Dad, time for nice long morning fishing!

The aliens did it! I saw them do it! (a little note about technology)

There's no good way to address this topic... so I'm going to take one of the most obscure ways possible. I have already written this post almost two full times in this notepad only to do a Ctrl+A and Delete. The topic that I would like to discuss today is this: Do we rely too much on technology?

First let's define "technology". One definition of technology that I found from Google is: The application of knowledge to meet the goals, goods, and services desired by people.

I liked that definition and thought is was general enough to be considered valid. However, under the standards of that definition we could consider everything from nuclear warheads to sporks... technology. Why don't we for sake of argument use the word technology in reference to computer technology? We'll use the phrase computer technology in reference to things such as... nuclear warheads, computers, alarm clocks, microwaves, cell phones... you know, that sort of thing.

All so let us begin. I don't want to address the topic of the previously stated question directly, because well... there are too many arguments that go in so many different ways that it would be very difficult for me to concentrate and write a post that takes less time to read than the Old Testament. I want to rearrange the question a little bit to ask something completely different, but in essence, get the same answer.

How would your life change if tomorrow, aliens with strange little guns on their spaceships came down into our atmosphere and sucked up all our telephone poles which carried our electricity, and the electricity wire that are buried under ground, AND all our batteries? Basically... we have no power! Ok you folks with solar panels... hush up... I was just trying to come up with a creative way to say we lost all power to everything.

First off and probably the most detrimental thing to everyone would be the fact that they wouldn't be able to check and read my blog! But seriously....

Let me just talk about how my life would change for a bit. First off, I have one candle in my possession, and the wick is already burned all the way down, so I would need to get some light. I would have to go to the store, during the day (so I can see what I'm picking out) and buy some candles. But when I get to the store I would realize that I am very low on food, cause everything in the freezer/fridge would now be spoiled. But even before this I wouldn't have been able to get to the store very quickly cause my car wouldn't work!

Here are some of the things during my day that wouldn't change. I would still have a nice sleep in my nice comfy bed. I would still have my books to keep me company. I would still have friends that live close by to keep social. What else... what else... ummm... I have a game of cornhole and a frisbee. Needless to say, my life would be flipped completely upside down. If I lost power to everything, I might be late to start driving... I mean walking to work in the morning because I would have no alarm clock to wake me, and no watch batteries to even know what time it is. I would get to work and just stare at my cubicle wall... cause my entire job description is programming and testing software for computers. I would assume that I would probably get more sleep at night though. When it gets dark out, if you have no other light, what else is there to do but sleep until the sun comes back up?

What about you? Would your life change drastically without power?

Is our world evolving into a people that rely too much on tools of our own creation? Should we use these tools such as computers as much as we do now? I wonder if back when someone invented the wheel, or when our ape-looking ancestors figured they could throw rocks at things to kill them for food, someone said... NO NO NO, you can't rely on this technology too much. We must still kill a bear with our own hands... put that sharpened stick down! I really don't think so. I believe our world is evolving and sure we rely on technology a lot, but it is a necessity to evolve even further. Who wants to be stagnant? That's when moss starts to grow.

I would imagine that after the aliens came and stole all our power... everyone on earth would be sad. I can just imagine everyone in Silicon Valley sitting on the curbs with the elbows on their knees and chins rested on the hands... just moping. Then of course Google would make an announcement... its OK everyone! We just invented power that isn't power!

...and Google wins again...

The Japanese Motorcycle Man (minus one limb)

Did you hear about the Japanese biker guy who while attempting to cut a tight turn got too close to the guard rail and amputated his own leg?!? If that's not enough to believe... he then rode on for 1.2 miles without even realizing that he lost his leg!

haha... moron...

Seriously, when you accidentally slam your finger in a door, what's the first thing you do? You look at your finger! Everyone does it, its not a by chance sort of thing. The article states that this guy 'felt excruciating pain, but did not notice that his right leg was missing until he stopped at the next junction'. So he felt the pain, but somehow he just didn't take the second to look down and realize his leg was missing.

And to make the story even better...

The one-legged motorcycle businessman has a friend who was out riding with him. This friend took the responsibility of being a good buddy and after seeing the gruesome scene stopped to pick up the leg.

Let me do one of my favorite things... let me paint myself into this picture...

[**Insert dreamy wafting away music here**]

My roommate Sean and I are riding our motorcycles down the highway. He's up front and I'm bringing up the tail. We're cruising, its a beautiful day with the sun shining past a few clouds keeping us warm with the cool mosquito-filled breeze rushing past our ears. We're going a little over the speed limit, but who wouldn't? It is gorgeous outside and we love to go fast. A sharp turn surprises the both of us. Sean, while trying to compensate the direction change gets too close to the guard barrier and slams his leg against the metal. He doesn't crash, but appears to be a little shaken. Then from out of nowhere something comes flopping and bouncing right at my bike. I swerve to avoid the UBO (unidentified bouncing object) and quickly realize that object was wearing a shoe... it was Sean's leg! I look up only to see a narrow stream of blood making a trail behind Sean's bike that would make Hansel and Gretel proud.

I quickly double back and pick up the dismembered limb and zip off in chase of my friend short of one leg. As I speed up doing my best to catch up, I am yelling his name as loud as I can and waving the bloody hunk over my head! Finally, after 1.2 miles of disbelief, Sean slows down only to realize that he's not going to be able to prop his bike very well at the stop. I catch up and when in close enough proximity kick him in the back with his own leg before just looking at him and saying... you moron!

[**Enough of the dreamy wafty music… you can stop humming now**]

Haha... seriously, how can you not realize you just amputated one of the thickest bones in your body!

I really do love finding random news stories like that... do you have any to share that you have found lately? Please do!

If you lost the sense of....

If you had to lose one of your five senses, what would it be? A friend and I were discussing this not long ago and we came to the conclusion that the easiest two to lose would be your sense of smell and your sense or your sense of taste. For those who may have skipped that day of first grade, here are the five senses we are talking about...

- Taste
- Smell
- Sight
- Touch
- Sound

I, as usual decided to put more thought into the question than was completely necessary and decided that I would rank my senses in the following order.

Touch --> Sight --> Sound --> Smell --> Taste

Where as touch is of course at the top of the list of importance. Sure it would be terrible to not be able to see or hear anything, but if you can't feel anything with your hands... you don't know what a penny feels like, you don't know the heat of a campfire, you don't know the softness of a blanket, you don't know the comfort of a hand... it would be very depressing.

So my friend that I was discussing this with is already lacking one of these senses, lucky for her it is second to the bottom of the least important, the sense of smell. It is sad though, she can't smell flowers or a home cooked meal!

Let's remove each sense and see what a typical day would be like.


[no taste]
You would go about your day in normal fashion without the pleasures of tasting food. The upside is you don't taste some foods, which are not too tasty. You could eat all the healthy / nasty foods you like and wouldn't bat an eye. Overall, you wouldn't suffer too much, you would get used to it. Our world does not revolve specifically around people with a sense of taste.


[no smell]
Throughout the day you wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. The only time this lack of sense would really come into play is when others are around you commenting on a smell. It would be only then that you would realize what you are missing. I love the smells of different things, so it would be rough knowing what you are missing, but same as taste, our world doesn't revolve specifically around people with a sense of smell. You would survive just fine

[no sound]
Without being able to hear anything, we start delving into the senses that would really impact your life. Without sound, you have a much more difficult time communicating. You would have to learn to read lips and sign most likely. Watching TV or a movie, you would always have to watch with captions. Phone conversations would be out, but you would still be able to text message. If someone calls your name from the other side of a room, you wouldn't know. Going to a symphony concert would leave you feeling empty, as you can feel the vibrations of a crescendo in you chest, but no epiphany from a grand major chord would be reached. Our world does nearly require a sense of sound. It would be very difficult to go any time without being able to hear.

[no sight]
Plain and simple, lacking this sense would be terrible. Every day life would be made very difficult. Just think about everything you have seen just today, and then think about not having seen it. How different would your life be? You wouldn't be able to drive, you would need assistance from some form of apparatus whether dog or cane to just move about. Our world is not designed for a person who cannot see, period. Jobs would be very limited. Going to a zoo would be pointless as you wouldn't be able to see the mane of a lion or the stripes of a zebra. You would just smell the elephants and probably be rather miserable.

[no touch]
From a life long standpoint, a lack of the sense of touch would be the most terrible in my opinion. You can live everyday and be fine without being able to see or hear. You have comforts in other things. You could still hug a stuffed animal, or cuddle with a loved one for a movie. Without the sense of touch, you could still do that, but it wouldn't have the same impact. Someone comes up from behind you, placing their hand on your shoulder... you wouldn't know until they made known their presence. There have been studies about people with dogs. Petting their dogs brings comfort not only to the dog, but to the owner as well. If you had a dog, would the same comfort be had from the company kept and petting the dog?

Pretty much lacking any one sense would not be all too much fun. Lacking more than one at a time would be just plain rough.

But what do you think, which of the senses do you consider the most important? Which one would you think would be the easiest to give up?

That’s all for now, this is turning into a very long week…
- Jason

(ps... note the tag for this post... hah, i thought it was funny)

The Dialogs of Vacation

So normally I don't write posts on the weekends... but I was just reminded by my little brother about my promise to share some vacation quotes. If you don't remember, I don't blame you, but here they are.

While sitting in the airports and just around on vacation, I made notes of some of the funny things I heard. This was especially true on the way out, on the way back I was just tired and not paying nearly as much attention. Enjoy!

"Yellow monster... it's me, Lenny!"
- a pilot on his phone after getting off a plane

We'd like to invite...
... Hey we can't hear you!
Sir, you interrupted me...
... Sorry for telling you how to do you job!
- the first and only time I found someone I really didn't want to get on a flight with, haha. I really thought security was going to come and take this guy away

Would passenger Muhammad Ghandi please report to gate 40

Dad?
... Yes son?
Which two languages would you learn? I would learn German and Japanese so if I go to Japan I can order a pizza!
- A son and father looking at the Rosetta Stone ad in the Skymall

That's all folks!

Can You Fight Smoke with Gas?

Let's talk about something today that frustrates me... work place smokers...

All right, so I come into work and there are people outside, leaning up against a wall creating their own little smog alert by puffing and coughing up smoke. I leave work for the day and guess what, there are people outside doing the same thing. About once or twice a week I have a personal phone call on my cell phone to make, so I head out the door as not to disturb the other cube monkeys around me and guess what again?... people out there smoking! But you know what bewilders me? It is when I see the same few people out there all the time... regardless of when I go outside, they always seem to be out there taking a 'smoke break'.

Are you catching my drift yet?

I want to know how much time these smokers are outside increasing my chances of someday actually getting social security benefits. How many cigarettes does the average smoker go through in the course of an eight-hour workday? Let’s just say one while walking in, one during lunch, one before they leave, and one more at some point in the day. So four. That is a rather conservative estimate; do you disagree? If they spend 10 minutes with each cigarette that means 40 minutes a day is spent outside smoking.

Wait! But what about the time cushion around the actual smoking. You can grab a pack of cigarettes and get out of your cube probably pretty quickly, so let's say only 1.5 minutes of pre-smoking time (getting up, grabbing your cigarettes, walking to the door, getting to the smoker shack out front). But I think where the killer is, is in the return to the cube. You have to get back inside and return to your cube which is probably the same 1.5 minutes repeated in reverse, but then you have to get your mind out of the outside world with the birds you are giving lung disease and back to the computer screen along your coworkers around who just thought you set off a stink bomb. (Side note, don’t you see people crinkle their noses or cough when walking by you on the street… doesn’t that say anything???) Let's go with an additional 5 minutes. So now we're up to 18 minutes per smoke break.

18 x 4 = 72 minutes... just over an hour

If a person is paid 45K a year with working 52 weeks a year (paid vacations) let's break it down to the hour
45,000 per year
865 per week
173 per day
21.63 per hour

Sounds to me like that person just made about 25 dollars by smoking every day! Now let's do the reverse math
25 per day
125 per week
6500 per year

That's right, one eighth of the salary! I really hope people don't spend a full hour smoking outside every single day.

My complaint isn't really that they are allowed to go on smoke breaks whenever they want as long as they are getting their work done... my complaint is from my own perspective. Here is the question of the hour: What if I spent one hour every day walking through all the cube hallways letting out one long stream of farts? That's right, fluctuations... toots... poofers? For one thing, depending on what I ate for lunch, I might smell better than the smokers... but really, you get what I'm saying?

There's really no way to conclude this post other than to say... Here's what all of us non-smokers should do next time we see our coworkers outside trying to be their own little cloud making machines. Whenever you walk by a smoker, just pass gas... simple as that!

Cheers to fighting fire with fire... well that's all for now, but come next week you’ll know where to find me, I'll be the one carrying my trusty 5-pound can of corn and beans!

Let's set the timetable...

I found this article about a mass Plateosaurus grave site being found in the village of Frick, Switzerland which is near the German border. In the article they say that this dinosaur was to have lived 210 million years ago. That number is not even imaginable to my comprehension. Two-hundred-ten,000,000 years is an extremely long time ago!

Do you really think that our world has been around for that long? One of my Grandma's favorite strange thoughts used to be thinking of infinity backwards. As a Christian I believe that God has always been around. The concept of infinity backwards, however, is a very difficult concept to grasp. Sure I can think of there always being a tomorrow... but always being a yesterday? That is just strange! How could someone always have been around? Doesn't there have to be a start?

The question I have is... Is the concept of time, the fourth dimension, only a property of our world? Is there no time in Heaven? But if there is no time, do we sleep? How do we travel somewhere or do anything without a concept of how long it takes to do anything?

Speaking of Biblical things, let's chat about creation. How long did it take for God to create our universe? Everyone in the Sunday School responds in tutored unison... "God created the universe in six days, then rested on the seventh". But are we sure it was 'days'... actual 24 hours periods?

So what's with 'yom'? Yom is the Hebrew word used which was then translated to 'day' in much of the Bible. I won't delve into details, but will instead provide a few links to the discussion of yom. Many people say that the translations aren't consistent where as sometimes yom is translated to a period of time and sometimes translated to a 24-hour period. I, personally, would like to believe that the earth was created in six 24-hour periods... I found the following argument at answeringenesis.org (which I will post link to below).

If the days of creation are really ‘geologic ages’ of millions of years, then the Gospel message is undermined at its foundation because it puts death, disease, thorns and suffering before the Fall.

It's an interesting argument... or was there death before the fall of man? Did all the animals just live happily for thousands of years not batting an eye at the concept of death or pain? No ...err... little new baby animals running around to cause mass overpopulation?

But enough of that, that isn't what this post is about. (I'm having a hard time giving exactly what this post is about, aren't I?)

Back to dinosaurs... do you think dinosaurs really roamed the earth? This I am not sure of. Did God create an earth that had nothing in the soil... or is it possible that he buried a few treasures for us to find some thousands of years later? If God was able to create the complexity that is the human body, I am sure he was able to bury a few bones...

So now the future...

How long do you think we'll be around for? Is Revelations about to be labeled Based on a True Story? This topic I am not educated on at all... I really have no idea. Does anyone have any good books they would like to recommend on the topic of the end of the world? And don't anyone say The Bible... haha... and really please to say the Left Behind Series...

Really I can't give any argument in this area, maybe I should have done a little research before writing this post... but ya know... I didn't... so tough noogies :-)

So what do you think about our universe's timetable, are we brand new under a million years?... or are we on year 500,000,000? Is tomorrow then end?… Or do we have more years beyond our comprehension to continue on this and possibly other planets? Crazy thoughts I say, crazy thoughts...
http://www.answersingenesis.org
http://www.vexen.co.uk
http://geocreationism.com

Flying Lesson Siesta

It is true... a siesta... hiatus... break... is being taken from flying lessons.. Would you like to hear my logic behind it? Of course you would.

Basically it all comes down to financial reason. I am coming close to the end of my full time Internship in which I will be going back to school and working only part time. This will deflate my bank account very quickly causing more loans. That just isn't fun.

When I went in to flying I went in with the mindset of it being a hobby (yes, a very expensive hobby). I put together a very extravagant, very detailed budget in Excel and went to town on keeping the budget on track. I was very successful until a point. There came a point in my budget when something changed. A social addition was made and suddenly I really wanted to spend money in other ways. For nearly three months this continued. I was taking less flight lessons in order to accommodate the increased spending, but this was just increasing the amount of time to obtain my certificate. Once this temporary social addition's visit was up, I came to my realization...

Over the next six months, until I start working full time again, I would be able to have fun in only one way (that involves money), flying lessons. I could make it work, but every penny I found would go to the flying fund. I am about to be 22 here in September; I am in college and living with friends. Flying is my hobby... how much fun would I have if I spent all my time, energy, and money on taking the plane up once every three weeks for an hour or so, just flying in circles (cause I wouldn't have the budget to take a fun trip). My other option is to take a little break, have fun with friends by going bowling, going to bars, maybe taking a weekend road trip... and then next spring start flying again to finish off my lessons. To me (especially seeing it in writing) the choice is obvious.

I talked to my instructor, parents, and friends, who all agreed with my reasoning. I am very confident that I made the right choice. I love hanging out with friends, and much of the time that involves spending a little money. Sometime in the future as well, maybe I'll start seeing someone and like to spend some time and a little money on them... I would love to have that option.

Who knows, maybe I'll strike it rich with flyingpage.com and finances won't be anything to worry about... but I'm thinking cautious now. I already feel less bogged down about money and spending, and it makes me a happy camper. Any comments?

Ode to the random Googler...

Hello dear fan base... it is I, your King of the Quill (or I guess now-a-days it would have to be King of the Keys...), Jason.

All right, enough nonsense... or is it all nonsense? Anyway... I would like to share some interesting things with you all today that tickle me giddy and make me want to chuckle with glee. Today I salute all of you random Googlers, who in all your glory... somehow stumble upon this site!

Let me first stop and say I really do appreciate your visits, and I do really hope you read a little and have a thought or a smile before going 'Back' to the rest of the internet wilderness.

Next I would like to share a few of the keywords that Google Analytics has captured of people finding my blog in the past week.

- blarged
- lunken tower
- people say im crazy crazy ooo aah
- snuffelu
- unix shell script take a break from looking at a computer screen for 5 minutes every 45 minutes

How funny are some of those? I can figure out how all of these keywords found my blog almost... I imagine a friend of mine (or maybe myself) searched blarged just to find my site... so no surprises. Someone searched 'lunken tower' and probably found my flight lessons posted. As for the 'crazy crazy ooo aah' search... well... someone on the great internet is a little kooky... but it is ok, I really think we all are more of the time than not. That individual probably found my post about trolls taking over my cubicle at night and lowering my armrests...

quick side note... it is very strange: ever since I posted that post about my armrests being lowered every morning... they haven't been touched since! Weird....

So the person who searched 'snuffelu', I will first say, "bless you" and "did you cover your nose?" I really have no idea what page they found on my blog, although I think 'snuffelu' might be one of my new favorite words! And lastly, the nerd who somehow found my blog by typing a book into Google, all I guess I should say is... "welcome home!"

Thank you all you random Googlers and I appreciate your traffic. Whether you read one post, all posts, or frantically hit the back button as soon as you saw my site so quickly your mouse now has 5 buttons... the extra visitor count on my analytics report makes me indeed a happy camper.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Hello, God... What do you say?

I was born and raised in a Bible-believing, church-going family. We would say our prayers before going to sleep every night and say grace before each meal, thanking God that we are blessed with such good fortune. The question I have here is, after talking to God, how do we listen to God? I am sure there are probably half a million books out there on the topic, but if I just went and found one of them, I wouldn't have the fun of putting together this post now would I?

This morning while getting ready for work, I was pondering the concept of listening to God and getting frustrated in a seemingly not ending circle of logical explanations. I sat roughly down on my bed and just plain asked.... "How do I listen to you?".... I tell no lies, no more than 1/2 a second later, my fan propped up in my window started to slow down. My initial reaction was that time was slowly coming to a stand still and a door would appear out of no where, where of course God would step out and answer my question... but of course a quick look down to my alarm clock confirmed that we had just lost power. Coincidence?

Here are a few uneducated ideas I have...

Let's set the scenario in a mall, I walk into a CD store and find no one working in sight... I could easily slip a CD into my pocket and be out the door within the blink of an eye, home free. But then something in my gut, my chest, and my head all start talking.
"... this doesn't seem right..."
"... you know better than to steal..."
"... think about the people that you are hurting by doing this..."
Is this God? Is this my conscience? Does God speak through a person's conscience?

I know if I don't touch the topic of the Bible, at least one person will point out that it is God's Word. Since I believe that the Bible is God's Word, I also believe that it is one ways that God has spoken to us. But notice the past tense. God uses the Bible, but it isn't changing. The Bible still is, and always will be a valid source of God's Word, but it isn't changing. I am wondering how God speaks to people in present, real time. Are we supposed to use our knowledge from the Bible to make decisions with God somehow intervening and helping us make the right ones? Is it a combination of the Bible and a person's conscience, which is God’s tool for speaking to us?

I believe in miracles as well. I'm not saying that the power going out in my house right after asking God how to listen to him was a miracle, but is something like that an attention grabber.... or possibly coincidence? I remember going to a Christian music festival down in Kentucky for many years back when I was younger. It was called Ichthus, and you camped out all weekend long, going to Christian music concerts, seminars, skits, the whole nine yards really. It was always a blast. On the Saturday night of the Festival, the thousands of people that are present all gather in the main concert stage field for a short service. A speaker gives a little talk, and everyone (tens of thousands of people) takes communion together. I remember one year looking up to the blue sky to see just that, all blue, but one cloud... There was a cloud in the sky that was no small cloud, but very large, and in the unmistakable shape of a cross.

Prayer is a comfort. We've been taught from day one of Sunday School that God is love. When you pray, you are able to talk to somehow who you've been told has unconditional love and forgiveness. It is like talking to your best friend when things aren't going well. When you have a dilemma, talking to your best friend, just hearing your words aloud will much of the time help bring your train of thoughts back on track. Talking out loud lets you hear yourself out loud and consider a scenario from a slightly different standpoint. Is a prayer to God the same? Talking to God, without anyone else around... are you finding solutions to problems just by giving them a different perspective… by organizing your thoughts into coherent sentences while talking to God?

I like the Garth Brooks song, 'I Thank God for Unanswered Prayers'. But in my opinion, that is the toughest part about praying. Yes there is a comfort, but when the answer to the prayer isn't simple like "God, Pleeeeeease let me have a bike for Christmas!" ... looking, waiting, wanting an obvious answer can leave you ... yes, feeling ... blarged.

- Jason

Google is a Genius!

Google is a genius... they really are, they get people to do things for them for free, because they are such neat/cool/interesting/fun/strange/unique things to do!

Let's take for example their picture tagging 'game'. I don't know if this game is still around but I used it a number of months ago. The entire concept of this game was to write tags for pictures that were shown on the screen. Here's how it worked. You were partnered up with some other random googler and shown pictures. You would type in words that you thought represented the picture (tags) as did your partner. Once you and your partner both typed in the same word, you moved onto the next picture. The more pictures you got through the higher your score... what do you do with the score? NOTHING! The top five or so scores were posted on the games front page, but that's it. What did Google get from this? EVERYTHING! Not only did Google get people to use their service, but they got them to do the dirty work for them. Sure you can program web-bots to dig through sites and come up with tags that represent the sites content, but try doing that with a picture. How can you program something to look at a picture and decide a tag? Conclusion... Google is a genius.

And now I come across something new... http://mail.google.com/mvideo.
So this is a very neat concept that is a great advertising method for Google. What you do with this concept is you print out a PDF provided by Google that looks like an oversided envelope with a giant red 'M' (Gmail logo...). Then once you print it out, you make a less than 10 second video clip of the 'M-velope' entering from the left side of the screen and exiting the right side of the screen. From this Google will compile their favorites and make a little movie of the travels of this M-velope.

How cool of an idea is that! Seriously!

I watched the beginning of their compilation, where the M-velope starts at the Googleplex... its fun, check it out, really!

Here's my thoughts...
Everyone wants to be a little more than they currently are. A little more famous, have a little more money... ya know? So people will happily advertise Google with the hopes that their video might make the final cut. Google is a genius... I know that I am already trying to come up with the best 10-second video clip idea!

Happy Friday!
Happy Birthday Sean!
Happy Birthday Joanna!

PS... Thanks to all who read, this is post number 100!

Logic for when falling for a not so single girl...

Here's the problem with falling for someone that is already taken.

Let's first look at the way normal single guy falls for normal single girl. Guy meets girl and they strike interest in one another. Guy flirts with girl and girl flirts with guy. Guy asks girl out and girl happily accepts the offer. Guy and girl go out and have great time. They are now dating.

Now let's look at the way normal single guy falls for not so single girl. Guy meets girl and they strike interest in one another. Guy flirts with girl and girl flirts (in a friendly manner) with guy. ... ... ...

That's it, see the dilemma? While normal single guy flirts with not so single girl, he enjoys her company more and more, but this doesn't change the fact that she is still not single. Not so single girl has fun time hanging out with normal single guy but is not single, so there are no thoughts of anything more than friendly friends. This chain of events leaves normal single guy very frustrated, or worse, infatuated with the not so single girl to a point where awkwardness arises.

Possible outcomes are as follows:
- Outcome A - Normal single guy has blinders on looking only towards his not single girl and misses all other opportunities of normal single girls
- Outcome B - Normal single guy goes too far and ruins friendship with not so single girl
- Outcome C - Not so single girl becomes normal single girl and falls for normal single guy
- Outcome D - Normal single guy and not so single girl remain just friendly friends

Two out of the four possible outcomes are acceptable endings...

To obtain one of these four possible outcomes there are three possible approaches (while still remaining friends):
- Approach A - Normal single guy remains (quietly) fallen for not so single girl
- Approach B - Normal single guy forces himself to not completely fall for not so single girl
- Approach C - Normal single guy makes feelings known to not so single girl

Another viewpoint is needed in addition to expand the outlook environment to beyond the capacity of the normal single guy and not so single girl. There is indeed a third party involved. The outlier is the reason that not so single girl is not so single, the boyfriend.

Taking two very strict scenarios of boyfriend there are different approaches that could be taken.

Scenario 1: Let's say the boyfriend is not a very nice person. The not so single girl is with the not very nice boyfriend for reasons unknown whether he is all she's known or other, it is not important, not very nice boyfriend is a risk in the normal single guy's mind to both the girl and himself.

Scenario 2: Let's say the boyfriend is a very nice person. The not so single girl is with the very nice boyfriend for obvious reasons known to everyone.

In scenario two with having very nice boyfriend as the "competition", normal single guy should put himself in the very nice boyfriend's shoes and watch some normal single guy try and take not so single girl away. That's not cool (period).

In scenario one with having not a very nice boyfriend as the "competition", normal single guy should put himself in the not very nice boyfriend's shoes and watch some normal single guy try and take not so single girl away. First normal single guy should decide whether he is faster than not very nice boyfriend, and if answer is no, should probably not attempt approach C in hopes of outcome C. Normal single guy is still able to take approach A or B though. If it is possible that normal single guy is faster than not very nice boyfriend there are options. Normal single guy then has liberty to attempt any approach A, B, or C in hopes of outcome C.

The question then arises, though, who decides whether the boyfriend falls into scenario one or scenario two.
These two scenarios are strict and do not represent most of the boyfriend population that would date not so single girl such as the not so single girl normal single guy is interested in. With out knowing which scenario boyfriend is in, it is not possible to choose which approach is acceptable without delving in a little further.

Approach A in short term can only return outcome A
Approach B in short term can only return outcome D
Approach C in short term can return B, C, or D (however a halfway outcome of A can be given because not so single girl will know that normal single guy has fallen for her and normal single guy will remain a friend although still fallen for not so single girl, even after being rejected)

With mindset that outcomes C and D are acceptable where outcome B is the worst we can weigh the outcomes on a scale of -2 to +2 where +2 is the best outcome and -2 is the worst outcome.

Outcome A: -1
Outcome B: -2
Outcome C: +2
Outcome D: +1

We can then figure out the total for the approaches:

Approach A = outcome A = -1
Approach B = outcome D = +1
Approach C = outcome B + C + D + (1/2)A = +0.5

When looking at totals the logical approach is indeed approach B where normal single guy is guaranteed a remaining friendship with not so single girl and normal single guy has other opportunities with other normal single girls.

Now combining these numerical results with the scenarios give above we find the following:

If scenario one-a (being slower than not very nice boyfriend) is true and approach A or B are the options, it is logical to take approach B with the given positive numbers (and teeth still being intact).

If scenario one-b (being faster than not very nice boyfriend) is true and approach A, B, or C are the options, the numbers work themselves and Approach B is again the safest option.

If scenario two (not so single girl having very nice boyfriend) is true, you have no approach options if you want to abide by the man code (which this document is based upon).

All scenario's point to the safest option of approach B: Normal single guy forcing himself to not remain fallen for not so single girl and still remaining friends.

This setup is, however, flawed. There is a happiness additive that was not calculated in. If normal single guy doesn't care about his happiness, then the option for him is approach B, the safest option. If happiness is important to normal single guy then the following should be accounted for:

With the following outcomes, the happiness additive is this (please remember this is a short term
calculation):
Outcome A: 2
Outcome B: 0
Outcome C: 3
Outcome D: 2

Now our results are as follows:
Approach A = 2 + (outcome A) = +1
Approach B = 2 + (outcome D) = +3
Approach C = (0 + 3 + 2)/3 + ((1/2)2)/1 + (outcome B + C + D + (1/2)A) = 3.16

With the happiness additive, we find that approach C squeezes by with the most logical sense.

However, (yes there is a however) the final problem with this equation is that no one is able to judge completely whether the boyfriend of not so single girl is within scenario one or scenario two. With this being known, we must add in a +/- 0.5 level of uncertainty.

This means the range for Approach C is +2.5 to +3.5 where the range for Approach C is +2.66 to +3.66. Where this overlap in values occurs lays concern for normal single guy.

Since this equation is only good for short term, it should be noted that outcome B of no longer being friends would have more negative happiness as time moves on. With this in mind a decision has to be made between approach B and approach C. Since approach C has possibility of outcome B, caution should be used. Approach B is still the safest, however there is that level between +3.5 and +3.66 that demands attention.

Best of luck normal single guy!