Crazy Daylight Saving Time

I walk into church this morning at 11:10am, right when the second service starts. The guest preacher is already starting to give his disclaimer about children in the service (because we're in our sex series).

"Weird, they must've gotten a head start on the service..." I think.

I find a seat and start listening. About halfway through the sermon, the preacher is talking about how men can make any comment a sexual comment...

For example...

wife: Honey, can you take out the trash tonight?
husband: Oh I'll take out your trash tonight...

or...

wife: Honey, can you help me set the clocks back an hour for daylight saving time?
husband: Oh I'll set your clocks back an hour...

And that's when it hit me, I'm in first service! I had forgotten to set my clocks back an hour, so instead of walking in just a minute late to the 11:10am service, I walked in 11 minutes late to the 10:00am service.

I will say now though, I have a lot more time available to me today, it is kind of a nice feeling.

My leftover spaghetti just dinged in the microwave... later days!

I live in one big free garage sale

I live in a nasty crime infested dirty neighborhood. Yes, I live in Clifton.

Now the area I live in does have a good number of college kids, but there is an extremely large 'local' population. And the local population tends to be low income families. Walking to and from class I have noticed something. These locals seem to throw out an extremely large amount of furniture. Yeah, furniture. I'm talking everything from mattresses to recliners to couches to bathroom vanities. What's up with this?

My question is how can such low income families afford to throw out so much furniture. Is it somehow soiled where they can't even sell it? What about donating to Goodwill? What about asking your neighbors if they can use an extra bathroom sink?

If you don't know what I'm talking about, go to your local neighborhood that is always under crime-watch, and just drive around for a little bit. Maybe you'll strike gold and it'll be garbage collection night, but really it doesn't matter, when a piece of furniture has been labeled as curb trash, it goes there regardless what night of the week it is.

Yes, I know, I didn't grow up in a neighborhood like this. Even though I have lived here for going on three years, I still don't feel completely comfortable on my own front porch. But someone please explain to me why so much furniture is being thrown out. Even beyond the fact that they are throwing out furniture, what do these people replace the missing couch with? If they are able to buy this much furniture... why are they living here?

Some things I fear will never make much sense. I don't act like I know anything, I just question... hah, later days!

MEMO: How to use the men’s restroom

I got a mass email today at work regarding the urinals in the men's restroom. Basically this memo was instructions on how to use the toilet properly. No, this wasn't a joke; apparently people were having a few issues...

I would just paste the email here in the post, but I think that might be a breach on the code of ethics.

It was a very funny email indeed and gave me quite the chuckles, which is always a nice start to my late morning arrival at work after my 8am Discrete Mathematics course.

So here are the details...
:: The urinals in the men's room are auto flush
:: This means they will flush when you walk away (or are suppose to at least)
:: There is a manual flush that will guarantee the flush if for some reason the auto flush fails
:: This means there are two methods to flush... there lies the problem...

Apparently some men would push the manual flush button while backing away from the urinal, causing both the flushes to activate. Also, apparently the urinal is stupid and then tries to use twice the amount of water to refill... causing spillage.

I don't know about the women's room... but when there is spillage in the men's room, especially right beneath the urinal... I generally do not assume it is just water. Any liquid on the floor of the men's room is treated like a deadly, radioactive carcinogen and carefully avoided. Your mind just starts to wander... how in the world could a dude miss the toilet by that much!?! ...

And so after reading this email... of course what do I want to do? Run to the men's room to see if there is truth to this tale and try to overflow the toilet just by flushing! Of course there may not be any listing in the Kroger Code of Ethics about toilets overflowing... but that might be destruction of company property... and it would be quite the conflict of interest to destroy property of the company that I have stock in.

And now the computer programmer in me is itching the question... should not the toilet manufacturer have tested this? Toilets are fairly simple mechanisms, no? Would it not have been a simple test to see if you can mess with the flushing system? Would it not have been simple to set a switch so that when the manual flush has been enabled, the eye to detect the auto flush is disabled? And same with the reverse where when the auto flush has been enabled, a switch is flipped to disable the manual flush?

Oh the craziness of the toilet industry...

In other news, I have a new million dollar idea... well... sorta. I have a topic in mind, but the exact innovation is yet to reach conception. I’ll give you a little preview… it has to do with water! More on that later though!

See ya!

Something a little different

So today I was sitting and class and decided to try something a little different. I decided to take my watch off of my left wrist, and clasp it around my right wrist. Not the most intense of changes... but a big one none the less.

Are there things like this in your day-to-day life that would completely throw your life out of balance if you made the change. I made it about 20 minutes with my watch on my right wrist before it was too much and i just had to switch it back.

What about wearing a shirt backwards for a day. It is not the biggest deal in the world, but I can guarantee you that you'd be thinking about how you are wearing a shirt backwards, pretty much all day long.

Crazy how the little things control our lives, eh?

Who's going to be this Billionaire?

You know what is going to be a great invention someday? A non-addictive, non-harmful, sleep inducing apparatus of some sort.

As you can tell from not only the timestamp but possibly also my quality of writing.. it is going on 4am on a Sunday night / Monday morning. It is true, I do have a 9am class tomorrow. In fact I have class from 9am to 2pm with rehearsal from 830pm to 1030pm... It won't be a very fun day.

Anyway... someday there will be a switch that we just flip that makes us go in the most peaceful and restful sleep we have ever had.

Here are some of the advantages:
- No more tossing and turning in bed waiting for sleep to overcome us
- No more time wasted while being awake when you could/should be sleeping
- Sleep time would decrease significantly because of the quality of sleep we would experience

As for the negatives... I can't come up with any right now... other than the fact that there wouldn't be blog entries like this one for you all to read when you wake up at your normal hour tomorrow... well... later today.

My guess is that the sleeping aparatus will have something to do with our breath. Maybe it will be a little clip that you put on your nose and within one minute of enabling the device you are asleep. Maybe there are pressure points in our ears that we don't know about yet, and a certain clip-on ear ring could be attached for instant shuteye. Maybe there is specific eye wear that you put over your eyes, and you find yourself quickly drifting off into the land of make believe.

This would become part of our daily routine. When it is time for bed, clip it on and off you go. There might even be a way to set the amount of sleep you get. Just a power nap in the afternoon? Set the device to let you sleep for 25 minutes. A full nights sleep so you will be completely awake for a busy day of work, set it to 8 hours. Home late from the airport only to realize that you must get up for work in 5 hours. Well just set it to 5 hours and hit the sack.

Depending on the type of sleep that you are put into... this device might need to have some added features. One feature might be for young parents who have a baby in another room. When the baby starts crying, the device will either wake you or bring you out of the complete deep sleep. It might also be attached to your house alarm or fire/carbon monoxide detectors.

In any perspective... the guy (or gal) who invents this device will have more fame and fortune that anyone else (too tired to think of a specific person)

My guess is that there is some pressure point on our body that when touched a certain way will put you to sleep. Maybe I could just lay back down in bed and pick my nose hoping to find the right spot. Actually I don't think the nose would have the pressure point... probably the ears. If the apparatus was made for the nose, I would think that it would be putting out some vapor.

But I think I confused my Guinea Pigs... I came over here to the recliner, turned on the light and started typing. They immediately woke up and are now moving around the cage in normal morning routine. Aren't they going to be confused when I turn the lights back off here in a minute. I'm sure they'll be fine.

I should stop writing before the rambling becomes unbearable and I really start to lose readers ;-) Have a good one, happy dreams!

PS... I am thinking about changing the location of this blog from http://www.blarged.com/blog to just http://www.blarged.com. I have recently purchased pawlak.ws which I am going to be turning into my 'homepage'. Just an FYI, if and when this happens I'll give you a heads up so you can update your bookmarks and reader links.

A bit of bathroom talk...

There are a few items in regards to the bathroom that I think should be discussed.

So you get into the bathroom in the morning and what is the one thing that everyone (well probably almost everyone) does before hopping in the shower? ... they go to the bathroom. After doing your thing, you can't really flush the toilet for the reason of it doing one of two things. It will either kill the pressure in your shower... or worse... make it blazing hot (or frigidly cold)! 15 or so minutes later, you hop out of the shower dry off, do whatever else you do in there (shave... brush your teeth... comb your hair… put on deodorant... blah blah blah...) and head back to the bedroom to get ready the rest of the way for the day.

HALT! ... wait a second ... didn't you forget something?

That's right, everyone all together now... “flush the toilet!”

Your honor... I am guilty as charged (along with every other person who ever took a shower...) I have forgotten to flush the toilet after the shower and before leaving the bathroom. For a while I would flush the toilet, wash my hands, then brush my teeth in order to let the shower water settle back down... but that didn't last... I like brushing my teeth to be one of the last things I do when in the bathroom. That way my mouth feels like a festival and parade of mints with me as the Grand Marshal!

Seriously though... don't you hate it when you get back from work in the afternoon, go to use the restroom only to find yourself questioning your bladder... wait a second, did I already go? It really isn't all that bad when it is yellow... you're just letting it mellow. On the bad day when you forget to flush and its brown, by golly I bet you find yourself wishing you had flushed it down!

It is really rather disgusting walking into a bathroom that has had a toilet sitting there full and unflushed for an extended period of time. This is especially true when the bathroom is located in an area of the house that stays pretty toasty at all hours of the day.

So what do you do to help remind yourself to flush before leaving the bathroom in the morning? Most of the time I just leave the lid up as a reminder staring me right in the face to push that shiny little silver lever that we would all hate to live without.

On a side note for all you guys out there... don't you just hate it when you are standing up over the toilet, hanging freely and doing your thing when all of a sudden the urge hits you? You then think, "darnit, now I gotta sit down!" If you're lucky you'll be close to being finished and you can just wait a few seconds until you're drained and do the great 180... just not too fast ;-) What is terrible is when you get the urge and you aren't even close to being drained. "Man, I knew I should have just taken a seat...” The process to follow isn't much fun. Once I'm flowing I prefer to just finish instead of somehow kinking the hose. But hey, it happens.

That's about all the bathroom talk for now. I did have one more topic I wanted to discuss but I think I might save that for a post unto itself!

This will probably be my last real post for a little bit (bout a week). I will be traveling to Boston tomorrow with my roommate to visit my brother Dan and his wife Katie. We'll be out there until late next Tuesday night. Classes start up Wednesday morning. We'll be traveling Sky Bus (rountrip ticket from Columbus to Boston for just over 50 bucks!) I'll most likely give a few shorter posts talking about what's going on in Bean Town... but maybe I won't. I'll be on vacation so I'll do whatever I please :-)

Take it easy!

The birds are organizing!

Have you ever seen Alfred Hitchcock's The Birds? I have. I watched it back sometime during my sophomore year of high school. It was on some lazy, late Friday afternoon when I had nothing else to do in an empty house. I watched intensely as the birds revolted against our civil society... and then I drove to a friend’s house. It was quite the drive. Now I know movies are just movies... and I know that birds don't usually attack people... but I would have sworn staring you straight in the eyes that there were a few robins that gave me some sketchy looks....

The reason I bring this up is recently, I've been noticing the birds. Sure they are always around, but you don't usually notice them. A bird flies up into a tree, he hops across the driveway, or he's on the grass pecking for worms... these things you don't notice. But lately... there's been something mysterious, the birds are organizing!

Just yesterday I was driving in front of an auto-repair shop that had nice grass out in front of it's doors, and there were hundreds of birds! I'm not talking scattered about, but so many birds you couldn't see the grass. They were jumping around, swooping in to land along with taking off up to power lines.

Driving to work this morning on the highway, I look up at one certain power line and I noticed the birds …none were moving... They were just sitting there, watching the cars go by. Probably contemplating who would be the first victim.

Have you ever seen birds fly in a flock... or rather... a swarm...? They fly like a swarm of bees do in cartoons... as one entity. How do they communicate? Is there just one bird up front that decides which hairpin turn to take next? Can they just read each other’s thoughts? Can they read our thoughts?

It is already a proven fact that birds have it in for us. Just think about how many times you've been driving down some back road at an easy 30 mph when a bird shoots out from no where flying just inches above the ground, across the street. You tap or slam on your breaks (all depending on how daring the bird really is) and hold your breath in hopes that you didn't hurt the innocent woodland creature. All the while, all the other birds are off the side of the road hootin' and hollerin' about watching you jolt forward in your seat. They have a contract agreement with the squirrels on those terms as well.

Back in high school again, I was on a trip up to Cedar Point Amusement Park up in Sandusky, Ohio. We were just walking in to the park, hadn't even given our tickets yet... when something plops on the top of my head. Yes... a stupid Sea Gull had decided it’d be fun to poop on the silly human! What are the chances of your head being used for target practice??? For that topic I will leave it to one of my favorite bloggers, Scott Adams, who discussed this topic just three days ago in his 'Dilbert Blog'.

I am sure of it though... the birds are organizing. If you haven't noticed yet, you will soon. Don't be surprised, it won’t be long until we start hearing countless freak accident stories on the News about birds flying into the back of people's heads. You have been warned...

Concentrate on your lips and tongue!

Have you ever just heard a word, and thought it was a strange sounding word? Or maybe it didn't really sound like a strange word until you put some thought into it. Here's a fun activity, pick out just normal words, look around your cube and pick out random objects, and just say those words out loud but rather slow.

Here's a few examples of what I thought sounded quirky... When saying these words, concentrate about 30% on the sound, but 70% on the way your mouth forms each syllable. Notice every tongue movement and lip contortion…
- strange
- sand
- music
- ticket

The words are completely normal, but the sounds it takes to compile these words makes each of them sound just that, strange.

I think with the word 'strange', it has to do with the harsh 'a' sound along with the 'ng'. Sand is just a funny word... just ask my friend Mandy. You can come up with all sorts of words that are weird.

Sometimes I like to think about what people who don't understand English would hear me say. If I were to hear some Chinese guys talking about what they did for the weekend, it would sound like complete gibberish to me, but it would make complete sense to them. It is all in the mindset of the conversation participants. Many of our English sentences don't sound all too strange to us, but that is because we know what they mean. What if you were from China and didn't know any English. You listen to a conversation about going to a ballgame, hanging out with buddies, and going to the bar afterwards completely different. What words would stand out to you as being completely strange?

Its fun to just take a normal scenario such as a conversation between two people and take it into an abnormal situation. How about you? What do you think the strangest sentence said in English would be to someone who doesn't understand English?

The next greatest thing...

I like to come up with ideas; ideas that haven't been thought of before; ideas that are variations on present products/services; I just like to come up with ideas. Lately as my knowledge in the computer realm increases, I have been able to start chasing these ideas/concepts by developing them to various levels.

While driving down the highway today in my normal squint along with all the other hundreds of drivers sitting awkwardly in their seats tying to get it just right so the intensely bright sun is blocked behind their rear view mirror, I came up with a new idea. You know during some evenings, you look up into the sky and see the sun... but it doesn't really look like the sun because it doesn't seem bright enough to be the sun. Why is that? Is it because some gasses in the atmosphere are blocking some of the 'brightness'? Or is it something else. This isn't really my expertise subject area, but I think I’m onto something. Why can't we harness whatever is making is possible for us to look at the sun and inject that into our windshields (or sunglasses)? If you notice on those evenings, it is nowhere near dark outside by any means, but you are able to stare directly at the sun without even the least bit of a squint. Many times I have to take a double take to make sure it was actually the sun and not an early moon.

I have a few other ideas brewing...

A few that I have already put into play have been:
FlyingPage.com (with Tyler of course)
Represent

I'm also working on developing an insert your own caption sort of deal. This would be a community driven website that people would submit pictures while others could put their own captions on the pictures for other people to give the thumbs up or thumbs down on. Firstly I'd like to see if I could develop this concept into a Facebook Application. I'm just on the beginning stages of my PHP development though.

Another great idea my friends and I have been working on is a Starring Arnold website (with help of video hosting through YouTube) We would take various movies and turn them into flash animations with Arnold Swarchenegger playing the lead. I won't release too much of this idea though ;-)

For now... the brain keeps brewing. One of these days someone will discover my genius!

A bit about car alarms...

When was the last time that you were walking through a parking lot and somewhere off in the distance heard a car alarm go off and immediately whipped out your cell phone to dial 9-1-1 while thinking... Oh no! Somebody's car is being broken into! I must notify the authorities!

That just plain doesn't happen.

I have thought about this often and was hit hard on the point this morning when I woke up to someone’s car alarm going off outside my house. I don't live in the nicest of neighborhoods down at school, so there is a pretty good chance that the car alarm was going off for legit reasons... however... probably not. As I laid in bed this morning listening to the awful BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP BEEP.... (get the point?) my thoughts weren't of concern for the owner of the car. I wasn't even concerned that a criminal could be mulling around our street and MY car... my only thoughts were, would somebody PLEASE turn that stupid car alarm off!

If you really think about it, the car alarm is a great invention. I am sure it does its job. If I were to steal a car and I set its alarm off in the process, I would most definitely move onto a different car. The alarm may not send people running to call the police, but it does at least draw attention to a possibly violated car. So in the end... I guess I have to admit it gets the job done... however, in a very annoying fashion.

Let me now voice my opinion on car alarms and fireworks. Every year, I go back home to Mason for the 3rd of July Fireworks. We set up blankets and chairs and watch the display of all imaginable colors (except blue... did you know there is no such thing as a blue firework?). And every year there are the multitudes of upper-middle class, rich cars, all fully loaded with their car alarms that start blaring with the first louder than the rest firework. So after that, we watch the fireworks, glorious as they are to not the medley of cicadas and crickets... but to the toots of Beemers and Escalades. Kind of kills the atmosphere if you ask me. Please people; just turn your car alarm off when you go to fireworks... the world appreciates it.

Before you ask I will answer; no, my car does not have a car alarm. I drive a 1994 Chevrolet Cavalier; the look of the car is a valiant car alarm in itself. Cheers to all those people who while sitting around the dinner table and all of a sudden hearing their car alarm go off, just click the button without going to check on it. Cheers to those folks at the fireworks with car alarms so sensitive a butterfly flapping its wings in China will soon set it off. And cheers to those who have cars with car alarms and set them off just to find them in a busy parking lot. Because of you... (with a bottle of Aspirin) I write this post.

A Lego sort of day!

I'm not sure what makes today so special, but I have this intense hankering to build Legos!

You all know what Legos are, those little blocks that you piece together to build amazing creations and have hours (if not days) of entertainment on one project. Have you ever been to Lego Land in California? My family and I went there a number of years ago, and it was great. They have Lego people blown up to life size and Lego cars you can race around in. They also had the Lego Mindstorms building where we had a competition of some sort. I think it had to do with moving a ball or something somewhere. It was good fun.

In addition to all the fun things to do, they have amazing Lego creations to look at everywhere. I think they have people on staff who's entire job description is to build legos into monstrous and spectacular sights. What a job that would be. You would never have to search through a bottomless been for just the right Lego!

I once spent a week organizing every single one of our thousands of Legos when I was growing up. I don't remember why I did it. I might have been grounded and that was the best way I could find to pass the time, or maybe I just did it on my own... I really don't remember. I'm pretty sure all the Legos are still (for the most part) separated. But today... for some reason, I want to build something.

What's the coolest thing you ever built out of Legos? Was it a set or something of your own creation?

Best naps... EVER

So I am a big fan of naps. Lately when I get home from work in the afternoon, after the 30 minute commute in the hot car with no air conditioning and a driver side window that doesn't roll down, I have been a bit sleepy. I won't lie, if I by chance don't have my sunglasses that day, sometimes my eyes just want to squint a little more than they should... But I have been getting home, going up to my room, checking my messages on the computer and saying hello to the pigs, then taking a nap.

Now this isn't any normal nap. This nap usually only lasts 10 to 15 minutes. How long is a power nap usually? Aren't they like 30 to 40 minutes? Am I taking a super-Power nap? But those 10 minutes of shut-eye are lifesavers. If I don't take that nap, my body starts shutting down at like 7pm... no good. And it isn't like I haven't been getting enough sleep at night either. Lately I've been in bed and asleep before midnight only to get up out of bed at the ripe hour of 7am.

I was sitting around thinking about my nap today and talking to a friend about it, when we started to discuss the best places to nap. The conclusion I came to that napping in bed is great and all... but its not really a real nap. I would define a short sleeping period in a bed as a snooze... not a nap.

So as for location, I love the recliner at my parent's house. However, if there is a couch with lots of pillows on it... I might just have to choose to fully spread out there. I love to take naps when other people are around too. If we're just watching TV or something, I'll lay down and rest my eyes... next thing I know, its dark out! Having other people around (as long as they aren't being obnoxiously loud) is usually always a plus to good napping.

I wonder if there is a book out there on good napping techniques?... I bet there is, there is a book for everything!

So what about you? Where and when is your favorite place to nap? Anything exciting???

A bit about umbrellas...

Today it was raining when I came into work. It is really rather dreary outside! The problem is, that I am not built for umbrellas. You see, I am tall and skinny, and with big feet. The only one of those three attributes that works to my benefit is the skinny part. My little umbrella does a fantastic job... I applaud its efforts, but I am a little worried that its quota of raindrops stopped from hitting me is suffering a little more than should be.

Because I am tall, there is not a short distance between the umbrella and my feet. If there is any wind, I might as well not have any umbrella at all. The rain drops will come in at an angle, and I will do my best to get my umbrella perfectly into the wind in order to catch all the drops, but to no avail, my umbrella fails me. By the time I walk to wherever my feet are taking me, my pants are wet, at least from the knee down. Wet pants are no fun, ask any one-year-old.

Because of my big feet, I can't for the life of me keep them dry. There will be a gentle mist coming down from the sky, more beautiful than weatherly, but by the time I walk into the building of choice... my socks are wet. There is no stopping it, really! Whether I am kicking up puddles or getting hit by stray raindrops that missed the umbrella, there's no matter, my socks are wet. No one likes wet socks, as any boy scout.

Another note on my feet (slightly on the side)...
Every day when I go into work, I trip on my feet. Regardless of when I get to work, I park in the far lot so that I have to cross a little bridge over a creak to get into the building. Call me crazy, but I like walking past the creek every day (even if it means a few extra steps). Unfortunately, I sit on the complete opposite side of the enormously long building. While walking down the hallway (which I can only describe as an airport terminal) I almost always trip over my feet. Fortunately for me they are usually just little trips and I catch myself after only a stumble. But believe me, there have been some close calls to wipeouts. The problem is I just don't lift my toes high enough. Left food forward... push it back... bring it forward... ooops... there's the trip. Either foot, it doesn't matter. Occasionally I'll make the long walk to the cube without any worries and no trips. But then it scares me even more... cause I know for sure, with the laws of nature, that I am going to trip at least once that day. I would much rather it be in the morning while walking in, than after pouring a nice hot cup of coffee... or after picking up a million papers from the printer. You know what I'm saying? It is scary!

So back to umbrellas...
Them and I just don't get along. One option I guess is to buy a bigger umbrella... it would help keep me dry. But I really don't want to be one of those people that have those super big umbrella's just for themselves. When walking down the sidewalk I don't want other people to feel like they have to move out into the street to avoiding smacking umbrellas with me.

With great umbrella comes great responsibility...

Umbrellas are definitely a must in many situations... but I really think there might be something different. I should make it my life goal to ponder the next umbrella... something that will keep all people dry, whether tall, skinny, fat, short, awkwardly shaped, big feet... regardless... MY UMBRELLA WILL NOT JUDGE!

That is all...
- Jason

The aliens did it! I saw them do it! (a little note about technology)

There's no good way to address this topic... so I'm going to take one of the most obscure ways possible. I have already written this post almost two full times in this notepad only to do a Ctrl+A and Delete. The topic that I would like to discuss today is this: Do we rely too much on technology?

First let's define "technology". One definition of technology that I found from Google is: The application of knowledge to meet the goals, goods, and services desired by people.

I liked that definition and thought is was general enough to be considered valid. However, under the standards of that definition we could consider everything from nuclear warheads to sporks... technology. Why don't we for sake of argument use the word technology in reference to computer technology? We'll use the phrase computer technology in reference to things such as... nuclear warheads, computers, alarm clocks, microwaves, cell phones... you know, that sort of thing.

All so let us begin. I don't want to address the topic of the previously stated question directly, because well... there are too many arguments that go in so many different ways that it would be very difficult for me to concentrate and write a post that takes less time to read than the Old Testament. I want to rearrange the question a little bit to ask something completely different, but in essence, get the same answer.

How would your life change if tomorrow, aliens with strange little guns on their spaceships came down into our atmosphere and sucked up all our telephone poles which carried our electricity, and the electricity wire that are buried under ground, AND all our batteries? Basically... we have no power! Ok you folks with solar panels... hush up... I was just trying to come up with a creative way to say we lost all power to everything.

First off and probably the most detrimental thing to everyone would be the fact that they wouldn't be able to check and read my blog! But seriously....

Let me just talk about how my life would change for a bit. First off, I have one candle in my possession, and the wick is already burned all the way down, so I would need to get some light. I would have to go to the store, during the day (so I can see what I'm picking out) and buy some candles. But when I get to the store I would realize that I am very low on food, cause everything in the freezer/fridge would now be spoiled. But even before this I wouldn't have been able to get to the store very quickly cause my car wouldn't work!

Here are some of the things during my day that wouldn't change. I would still have a nice sleep in my nice comfy bed. I would still have my books to keep me company. I would still have friends that live close by to keep social. What else... what else... ummm... I have a game of cornhole and a frisbee. Needless to say, my life would be flipped completely upside down. If I lost power to everything, I might be late to start driving... I mean walking to work in the morning because I would have no alarm clock to wake me, and no watch batteries to even know what time it is. I would get to work and just stare at my cubicle wall... cause my entire job description is programming and testing software for computers. I would assume that I would probably get more sleep at night though. When it gets dark out, if you have no other light, what else is there to do but sleep until the sun comes back up?

What about you? Would your life change drastically without power?

Is our world evolving into a people that rely too much on tools of our own creation? Should we use these tools such as computers as much as we do now? I wonder if back when someone invented the wheel, or when our ape-looking ancestors figured they could throw rocks at things to kill them for food, someone said... NO NO NO, you can't rely on this technology too much. We must still kill a bear with our own hands... put that sharpened stick down! I really don't think so. I believe our world is evolving and sure we rely on technology a lot, but it is a necessity to evolve even further. Who wants to be stagnant? That's when moss starts to grow.

I would imagine that after the aliens came and stole all our power... everyone on earth would be sad. I can just imagine everyone in Silicon Valley sitting on the curbs with the elbows on their knees and chins rested on the hands... just moping. Then of course Google would make an announcement... its OK everyone! We just invented power that isn't power!

...and Google wins again...

If you lost the sense of....

If you had to lose one of your five senses, what would it be? A friend and I were discussing this not long ago and we came to the conclusion that the easiest two to lose would be your sense of smell and your sense or your sense of taste. For those who may have skipped that day of first grade, here are the five senses we are talking about...

- Taste
- Smell
- Sight
- Touch
- Sound

I, as usual decided to put more thought into the question than was completely necessary and decided that I would rank my senses in the following order.

Touch --> Sight --> Sound --> Smell --> Taste

Where as touch is of course at the top of the list of importance. Sure it would be terrible to not be able to see or hear anything, but if you can't feel anything with your hands... you don't know what a penny feels like, you don't know the heat of a campfire, you don't know the softness of a blanket, you don't know the comfort of a hand... it would be very depressing.

So my friend that I was discussing this with is already lacking one of these senses, lucky for her it is second to the bottom of the least important, the sense of smell. It is sad though, she can't smell flowers or a home cooked meal!

Let's remove each sense and see what a typical day would be like.


[no taste]
You would go about your day in normal fashion without the pleasures of tasting food. The upside is you don't taste some foods, which are not too tasty. You could eat all the healthy / nasty foods you like and wouldn't bat an eye. Overall, you wouldn't suffer too much, you would get used to it. Our world does not revolve specifically around people with a sense of taste.


[no smell]
Throughout the day you wouldn't notice anything out of the ordinary. The only time this lack of sense would really come into play is when others are around you commenting on a smell. It would be only then that you would realize what you are missing. I love the smells of different things, so it would be rough knowing what you are missing, but same as taste, our world doesn't revolve specifically around people with a sense of smell. You would survive just fine

[no sound]
Without being able to hear anything, we start delving into the senses that would really impact your life. Without sound, you have a much more difficult time communicating. You would have to learn to read lips and sign most likely. Watching TV or a movie, you would always have to watch with captions. Phone conversations would be out, but you would still be able to text message. If someone calls your name from the other side of a room, you wouldn't know. Going to a symphony concert would leave you feeling empty, as you can feel the vibrations of a crescendo in you chest, but no epiphany from a grand major chord would be reached. Our world does nearly require a sense of sound. It would be very difficult to go any time without being able to hear.

[no sight]
Plain and simple, lacking this sense would be terrible. Every day life would be made very difficult. Just think about everything you have seen just today, and then think about not having seen it. How different would your life be? You wouldn't be able to drive, you would need assistance from some form of apparatus whether dog or cane to just move about. Our world is not designed for a person who cannot see, period. Jobs would be very limited. Going to a zoo would be pointless as you wouldn't be able to see the mane of a lion or the stripes of a zebra. You would just smell the elephants and probably be rather miserable.

[no touch]
From a life long standpoint, a lack of the sense of touch would be the most terrible in my opinion. You can live everyday and be fine without being able to see or hear. You have comforts in other things. You could still hug a stuffed animal, or cuddle with a loved one for a movie. Without the sense of touch, you could still do that, but it wouldn't have the same impact. Someone comes up from behind you, placing their hand on your shoulder... you wouldn't know until they made known their presence. There have been studies about people with dogs. Petting their dogs brings comfort not only to the dog, but to the owner as well. If you had a dog, would the same comfort be had from the company kept and petting the dog?

Pretty much lacking any one sense would not be all too much fun. Lacking more than one at a time would be just plain rough.

But what do you think, which of the senses do you consider the most important? Which one would you think would be the easiest to give up?

That’s all for now, this is turning into a very long week…
- Jason

(ps... note the tag for this post... hah, i thought it was funny)

The Dialogs of Vacation

So normally I don't write posts on the weekends... but I was just reminded by my little brother about my promise to share some vacation quotes. If you don't remember, I don't blame you, but here they are.

While sitting in the airports and just around on vacation, I made notes of some of the funny things I heard. This was especially true on the way out, on the way back I was just tired and not paying nearly as much attention. Enjoy!

"Yellow monster... it's me, Lenny!"
- a pilot on his phone after getting off a plane

We'd like to invite...
... Hey we can't hear you!
Sir, you interrupted me...
... Sorry for telling you how to do you job!
- the first and only time I found someone I really didn't want to get on a flight with, haha. I really thought security was going to come and take this guy away

Would passenger Muhammad Ghandi please report to gate 40

Dad?
... Yes son?
Which two languages would you learn? I would learn German and Japanese so if I go to Japan I can order a pizza!
- A son and father looking at the Rosetta Stone ad in the Skymall

That's all folks!

Can You Fight Smoke with Gas?

Let's talk about something today that frustrates me... work place smokers...

All right, so I come into work and there are people outside, leaning up against a wall creating their own little smog alert by puffing and coughing up smoke. I leave work for the day and guess what, there are people outside doing the same thing. About once or twice a week I have a personal phone call on my cell phone to make, so I head out the door as not to disturb the other cube monkeys around me and guess what again?... people out there smoking! But you know what bewilders me? It is when I see the same few people out there all the time... regardless of when I go outside, they always seem to be out there taking a 'smoke break'.

Are you catching my drift yet?

I want to know how much time these smokers are outside increasing my chances of someday actually getting social security benefits. How many cigarettes does the average smoker go through in the course of an eight-hour workday? Let’s just say one while walking in, one during lunch, one before they leave, and one more at some point in the day. So four. That is a rather conservative estimate; do you disagree? If they spend 10 minutes with each cigarette that means 40 minutes a day is spent outside smoking.

Wait! But what about the time cushion around the actual smoking. You can grab a pack of cigarettes and get out of your cube probably pretty quickly, so let's say only 1.5 minutes of pre-smoking time (getting up, grabbing your cigarettes, walking to the door, getting to the smoker shack out front). But I think where the killer is, is in the return to the cube. You have to get back inside and return to your cube which is probably the same 1.5 minutes repeated in reverse, but then you have to get your mind out of the outside world with the birds you are giving lung disease and back to the computer screen along your coworkers around who just thought you set off a stink bomb. (Side note, don’t you see people crinkle their noses or cough when walking by you on the street… doesn’t that say anything???) Let's go with an additional 5 minutes. So now we're up to 18 minutes per smoke break.

18 x 4 = 72 minutes... just over an hour

If a person is paid 45K a year with working 52 weeks a year (paid vacations) let's break it down to the hour
45,000 per year
865 per week
173 per day
21.63 per hour

Sounds to me like that person just made about 25 dollars by smoking every day! Now let's do the reverse math
25 per day
125 per week
6500 per year

That's right, one eighth of the salary! I really hope people don't spend a full hour smoking outside every single day.

My complaint isn't really that they are allowed to go on smoke breaks whenever they want as long as they are getting their work done... my complaint is from my own perspective. Here is the question of the hour: What if I spent one hour every day walking through all the cube hallways letting out one long stream of farts? That's right, fluctuations... toots... poofers? For one thing, depending on what I ate for lunch, I might smell better than the smokers... but really, you get what I'm saying?

There's really no way to conclude this post other than to say... Here's what all of us non-smokers should do next time we see our coworkers outside trying to be their own little cloud making machines. Whenever you walk by a smoker, just pass gas... simple as that!

Cheers to fighting fire with fire... well that's all for now, but come next week you’ll know where to find me, I'll be the one carrying my trusty 5-pound can of corn and beans!

Let's set the timetable...

I found this article about a mass Plateosaurus grave site being found in the village of Frick, Switzerland which is near the German border. In the article they say that this dinosaur was to have lived 210 million years ago. That number is not even imaginable to my comprehension. Two-hundred-ten,000,000 years is an extremely long time ago!

Do you really think that our world has been around for that long? One of my Grandma's favorite strange thoughts used to be thinking of infinity backwards. As a Christian I believe that God has always been around. The concept of infinity backwards, however, is a very difficult concept to grasp. Sure I can think of there always being a tomorrow... but always being a yesterday? That is just strange! How could someone always have been around? Doesn't there have to be a start?

The question I have is... Is the concept of time, the fourth dimension, only a property of our world? Is there no time in Heaven? But if there is no time, do we sleep? How do we travel somewhere or do anything without a concept of how long it takes to do anything?

Speaking of Biblical things, let's chat about creation. How long did it take for God to create our universe? Everyone in the Sunday School responds in tutored unison... "God created the universe in six days, then rested on the seventh". But are we sure it was 'days'... actual 24 hours periods?

So what's with 'yom'? Yom is the Hebrew word used which was then translated to 'day' in much of the Bible. I won't delve into details, but will instead provide a few links to the discussion of yom. Many people say that the translations aren't consistent where as sometimes yom is translated to a period of time and sometimes translated to a 24-hour period. I, personally, would like to believe that the earth was created in six 24-hour periods... I found the following argument at answeringenesis.org (which I will post link to below).

If the days of creation are really ‘geologic ages’ of millions of years, then the Gospel message is undermined at its foundation because it puts death, disease, thorns and suffering before the Fall.

It's an interesting argument... or was there death before the fall of man? Did all the animals just live happily for thousands of years not batting an eye at the concept of death or pain? No ...err... little new baby animals running around to cause mass overpopulation?

But enough of that, that isn't what this post is about. (I'm having a hard time giving exactly what this post is about, aren't I?)

Back to dinosaurs... do you think dinosaurs really roamed the earth? This I am not sure of. Did God create an earth that had nothing in the soil... or is it possible that he buried a few treasures for us to find some thousands of years later? If God was able to create the complexity that is the human body, I am sure he was able to bury a few bones...

So now the future...

How long do you think we'll be around for? Is Revelations about to be labeled Based on a True Story? This topic I am not educated on at all... I really have no idea. Does anyone have any good books they would like to recommend on the topic of the end of the world? And don't anyone say The Bible... haha... and really please to say the Left Behind Series...

Really I can't give any argument in this area, maybe I should have done a little research before writing this post... but ya know... I didn't... so tough noogies :-)

So what do you think about our universe's timetable, are we brand new under a million years?... or are we on year 500,000,000? Is tomorrow then end?… Or do we have more years beyond our comprehension to continue on this and possibly other planets? Crazy thoughts I say, crazy thoughts...
http://www.answersingenesis.org
http://www.vexen.co.uk
http://geocreationism.com

Ode to the random Googler...

Hello dear fan base... it is I, your King of the Quill (or I guess now-a-days it would have to be King of the Keys...), Jason.

All right, enough nonsense... or is it all nonsense? Anyway... I would like to share some interesting things with you all today that tickle me giddy and make me want to chuckle with glee. Today I salute all of you random Googlers, who in all your glory... somehow stumble upon this site!

Let me first stop and say I really do appreciate your visits, and I do really hope you read a little and have a thought or a smile before going 'Back' to the rest of the internet wilderness.

Next I would like to share a few of the keywords that Google Analytics has captured of people finding my blog in the past week.

- blarged
- lunken tower
- people say im crazy crazy ooo aah
- snuffelu
- unix shell script take a break from looking at a computer screen for 5 minutes every 45 minutes

How funny are some of those? I can figure out how all of these keywords found my blog almost... I imagine a friend of mine (or maybe myself) searched blarged just to find my site... so no surprises. Someone searched 'lunken tower' and probably found my flight lessons posted. As for the 'crazy crazy ooo aah' search... well... someone on the great internet is a little kooky... but it is ok, I really think we all are more of the time than not. That individual probably found my post about trolls taking over my cubicle at night and lowering my armrests...

quick side note... it is very strange: ever since I posted that post about my armrests being lowered every morning... they haven't been touched since! Weird....

So the person who searched 'snuffelu', I will first say, "bless you" and "did you cover your nose?" I really have no idea what page they found on my blog, although I think 'snuffelu' might be one of my new favorite words! And lastly, the nerd who somehow found my blog by typing a book into Google, all I guess I should say is... "welcome home!"

Thank you all you random Googlers and I appreciate your traffic. Whether you read one post, all posts, or frantically hit the back button as soon as you saw my site so quickly your mouse now has 5 buttons... the extra visitor count on my analytics report makes me indeed a happy camper.

Happy Tuesday everyone!

Logic for when falling for a not so single girl...

Here's the problem with falling for someone that is already taken.

Let's first look at the way normal single guy falls for normal single girl. Guy meets girl and they strike interest in one another. Guy flirts with girl and girl flirts with guy. Guy asks girl out and girl happily accepts the offer. Guy and girl go out and have great time. They are now dating.

Now let's look at the way normal single guy falls for not so single girl. Guy meets girl and they strike interest in one another. Guy flirts with girl and girl flirts (in a friendly manner) with guy. ... ... ...

That's it, see the dilemma? While normal single guy flirts with not so single girl, he enjoys her company more and more, but this doesn't change the fact that she is still not single. Not so single girl has fun time hanging out with normal single guy but is not single, so there are no thoughts of anything more than friendly friends. This chain of events leaves normal single guy very frustrated, or worse, infatuated with the not so single girl to a point where awkwardness arises.

Possible outcomes are as follows:
- Outcome A - Normal single guy has blinders on looking only towards his not single girl and misses all other opportunities of normal single girls
- Outcome B - Normal single guy goes too far and ruins friendship with not so single girl
- Outcome C - Not so single girl becomes normal single girl and falls for normal single guy
- Outcome D - Normal single guy and not so single girl remain just friendly friends

Two out of the four possible outcomes are acceptable endings...

To obtain one of these four possible outcomes there are three possible approaches (while still remaining friends):
- Approach A - Normal single guy remains (quietly) fallen for not so single girl
- Approach B - Normal single guy forces himself to not completely fall for not so single girl
- Approach C - Normal single guy makes feelings known to not so single girl

Another viewpoint is needed in addition to expand the outlook environment to beyond the capacity of the normal single guy and not so single girl. There is indeed a third party involved. The outlier is the reason that not so single girl is not so single, the boyfriend.

Taking two very strict scenarios of boyfriend there are different approaches that could be taken.

Scenario 1: Let's say the boyfriend is not a very nice person. The not so single girl is with the not very nice boyfriend for reasons unknown whether he is all she's known or other, it is not important, not very nice boyfriend is a risk in the normal single guy's mind to both the girl and himself.

Scenario 2: Let's say the boyfriend is a very nice person. The not so single girl is with the very nice boyfriend for obvious reasons known to everyone.

In scenario two with having very nice boyfriend as the "competition", normal single guy should put himself in the very nice boyfriend's shoes and watch some normal single guy try and take not so single girl away. That's not cool (period).

In scenario one with having not a very nice boyfriend as the "competition", normal single guy should put himself in the not very nice boyfriend's shoes and watch some normal single guy try and take not so single girl away. First normal single guy should decide whether he is faster than not very nice boyfriend, and if answer is no, should probably not attempt approach C in hopes of outcome C. Normal single guy is still able to take approach A or B though. If it is possible that normal single guy is faster than not very nice boyfriend there are options. Normal single guy then has liberty to attempt any approach A, B, or C in hopes of outcome C.

The question then arises, though, who decides whether the boyfriend falls into scenario one or scenario two.
These two scenarios are strict and do not represent most of the boyfriend population that would date not so single girl such as the not so single girl normal single guy is interested in. With out knowing which scenario boyfriend is in, it is not possible to choose which approach is acceptable without delving in a little further.

Approach A in short term can only return outcome A
Approach B in short term can only return outcome D
Approach C in short term can return B, C, or D (however a halfway outcome of A can be given because not so single girl will know that normal single guy has fallen for her and normal single guy will remain a friend although still fallen for not so single girl, even after being rejected)

With mindset that outcomes C and D are acceptable where outcome B is the worst we can weigh the outcomes on a scale of -2 to +2 where +2 is the best outcome and -2 is the worst outcome.

Outcome A: -1
Outcome B: -2
Outcome C: +2
Outcome D: +1

We can then figure out the total for the approaches:

Approach A = outcome A = -1
Approach B = outcome D = +1
Approach C = outcome B + C + D + (1/2)A = +0.5

When looking at totals the logical approach is indeed approach B where normal single guy is guaranteed a remaining friendship with not so single girl and normal single guy has other opportunities with other normal single girls.

Now combining these numerical results with the scenarios give above we find the following:

If scenario one-a (being slower than not very nice boyfriend) is true and approach A or B are the options, it is logical to take approach B with the given positive numbers (and teeth still being intact).

If scenario one-b (being faster than not very nice boyfriend) is true and approach A, B, or C are the options, the numbers work themselves and Approach B is again the safest option.

If scenario two (not so single girl having very nice boyfriend) is true, you have no approach options if you want to abide by the man code (which this document is based upon).

All scenario's point to the safest option of approach B: Normal single guy forcing himself to not remain fallen for not so single girl and still remaining friends.

This setup is, however, flawed. There is a happiness additive that was not calculated in. If normal single guy doesn't care about his happiness, then the option for him is approach B, the safest option. If happiness is important to normal single guy then the following should be accounted for:

With the following outcomes, the happiness additive is this (please remember this is a short term
calculation):
Outcome A: 2
Outcome B: 0
Outcome C: 3
Outcome D: 2

Now our results are as follows:
Approach A = 2 + (outcome A) = +1
Approach B = 2 + (outcome D) = +3
Approach C = (0 + 3 + 2)/3 + ((1/2)2)/1 + (outcome B + C + D + (1/2)A) = 3.16

With the happiness additive, we find that approach C squeezes by with the most logical sense.

However, (yes there is a however) the final problem with this equation is that no one is able to judge completely whether the boyfriend of not so single girl is within scenario one or scenario two. With this being known, we must add in a +/- 0.5 level of uncertainty.

This means the range for Approach C is +2.5 to +3.5 where the range for Approach C is +2.66 to +3.66. Where this overlap in values occurs lays concern for normal single guy.

Since this equation is only good for short term, it should be noted that outcome B of no longer being friends would have more negative happiness as time moves on. With this in mind a decision has to be made between approach B and approach C. Since approach C has possibility of outcome B, caution should be used. Approach B is still the safest, however there is that level between +3.5 and +3.66 that demands attention.

Best of luck normal single guy!